While yesterday I was feeling on top of the world, today I could only see the kids for about fifteen minutes. It kind of hurt they mentioned Mike today, and though this has been going on four months and I have been patient and have tried to be nice and accept the guy, tonight I told the kids, look sorry guys Please don't talk to me about Mike anymore. I don't know if that makes me a good person or a bad person. Every one can accept him because he was pushed on us for a decision Ann made, who then had the audicity to say I wish people would quit pushing Mike and me together. Sometimes I don't understand her. But my time is now, I am living with her choice not something I chose. I tried, I really feel that I got fucked and fucked big time, especially considering she started seeing him while I was still at the house, and found out about it after I moved out the second time. Did I do it to myself? Nope not going to take responsibility for her actions. Reacting to them yes, and actually my reaction has been more civil, and more grown up than your average individual. It has hurt me, it has bugged me. I feel like a failure sometimes because I can't seem to heal from this wound, though know I can't go by my time clock only life's time clock.
I apreciate that he treats her and the kids well, I can apreciate the kids are not afraid of him. I can even apreciate that he for the time being makes Ann happy. But I can not and will not forget, that in order to have him in her life she had to do what she did, I will not just openly accept displays of affection in front of me, or any other petty thing she has done regarding Mike. Her freedom came with a price and though it didn't affect her it did affect someone else. In time I hope that she would at the very least realize that. I hope that she also realizes that.
For those trying to reach me either through aim, or messenger, the computer here won't allow it. Unless someone can find me an older version of either one, my comunication is only here or through e-mail if I am lucky to have your address. I can be reached at raidahn1@yahoo.com or at rabidfenris@hotmail.com also forgot my band or former band since hey there may be a chance of getting together again can also be found at 618@myspace.com, and actually I can be found at myspace as well.
http://www.myspace.com/7143955.
I apreciate that he treats her and the kids well, I can apreciate the kids are not afraid of him. I can even apreciate that he for the time being makes Ann happy. But I can not and will not forget, that in order to have him in her life she had to do what she did, I will not just openly accept displays of affection in front of me, or any other petty thing she has done regarding Mike. Her freedom came with a price and though it didn't affect her it did affect someone else. In time I hope that she would at the very least realize that. I hope that she also realizes that.
For those trying to reach me either through aim, or messenger, the computer here won't allow it. Unless someone can find me an older version of either one, my comunication is only here or through e-mail if I am lucky to have your address. I can be reached at raidahn1@yahoo.com or at rabidfenris@hotmail.com also forgot my band or former band since hey there may be a chance of getting together again can also be found at 618@myspace.com, and actually I can be found at myspace as well.
http://www.myspace.com/7143955.
posted by Joel at 5:38 PM
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