The first few days...
The first few days were...wierd. Not exactly a homecoming, but not as bad as I thought things were going to be either. It's that feeling out process thing I guess, both of us (Yeah I thought this was kind of weird too) are being very conciencious of the other person, as far as boundaries, and feelings.
Example- Sunday Morning, I couldn't sleep, at four thirty in the morning I said hey screw this I haven't sat in a booth at Denny's in a while and wrote and drank coffee, I'm going to go do that. I knew that she would be out of the house at 6:45 a.m. on the way to work, I also knew the three kids would still be in bed asleep. So I made sure I returned to the house about sevenish. She would later call to ask how I was, and then made mention of where I was...then apologized, then still later would bring it up again. For no one that isn't suppose to care she did. It's been little things like that.
It's going to be a slow slow process. Today I went down and opened up my own checking account, it is my plan to eventually start having my checks deposited to this account so I can keep track of the bills. I haven't told her yet. Still trying to figure out what the hell we are doing. This was something I had told her I was thinking about doing and she thought no too many bills are being automatically deducted, it would be too hard to maintain, I'll just open up a second account. I beat her to the punch because she is a notorious procrastinator. I did the bank this way, because we both make decent money, but she has a spending problem, and actually doesn't keep account of how much she truly spends during the week, because of doing this we have had alot of overdrafts that have had to be paid. Although my name is on the account, we have no checks, and she just uses the atm. Any time I've needed money I've had to go to her. Well if this has been going on for a while, and we live paycheck to paycheck, and I don't have access to the account, other than my paycheck is direct deposit it comes down to who is the one taking the money out of the account, before a bill can be paid? Three guesses and the first two don't count. I have discussed this financial problem with her for a while, it's always been her that was in charge of the finances.
Example- Sunday Morning, I couldn't sleep, at four thirty in the morning I said hey screw this I haven't sat in a booth at Denny's in a while and wrote and drank coffee, I'm going to go do that. I knew that she would be out of the house at 6:45 a.m. on the way to work, I also knew the three kids would still be in bed asleep. So I made sure I returned to the house about sevenish. She would later call to ask how I was, and then made mention of where I was...then apologized, then still later would bring it up again. For no one that isn't suppose to care she did. It's been little things like that.
It's going to be a slow slow process. Today I went down and opened up my own checking account, it is my plan to eventually start having my checks deposited to this account so I can keep track of the bills. I haven't told her yet. Still trying to figure out what the hell we are doing. This was something I had told her I was thinking about doing and she thought no too many bills are being automatically deducted, it would be too hard to maintain, I'll just open up a second account. I beat her to the punch because she is a notorious procrastinator. I did the bank this way, because we both make decent money, but she has a spending problem, and actually doesn't keep account of how much she truly spends during the week, because of doing this we have had alot of overdrafts that have had to be paid. Although my name is on the account, we have no checks, and she just uses the atm. Any time I've needed money I've had to go to her. Well if this has been going on for a while, and we live paycheck to paycheck, and I don't have access to the account, other than my paycheck is direct deposit it comes down to who is the one taking the money out of the account, before a bill can be paid? Three guesses and the first two don't count. I have discussed this financial problem with her for a while, it's always been her that was in charge of the finances.
posted by Joel at 5:42 PM
4 Comments:
If I get 3 guesses and the first 2 don't count...I'll guess Branden!! That kid ALWAYS has toys!! I solved the money problem man, keep the kid away from the ATM card.
Glad things are better in a weird way. Glad to hear from you in a weird way.
Hey when's a good time to call your cell? Cell OR Home?
Yeah, I was wondering the same thing.
I'm sad to hear about your marriage woes, but honestly, if blogging it all out helps, go for it dood.
It helped for me when I had mega relationship issues recently - and at the end of it when it all worked out really really well, i simply hit the delete button and it was as good as burning a diary.
:)
I started up a new far more positive and less dark blog but am so relieved i got all that stuff out before I totally exploded.
Do what you have to do, and do what's best for YOU and your kids. You and them are #1.
You should keep posting! What's been going on with you the past couple of weeks?
Your last post was on my birthday.
You don't sound happy.
One of the other comments said that it's best for the kids. However, if you and/or your spouse are miserable than it's really not good for anybody.
Please update.
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