Yeah still alive and kicking

This post is pretty much just to let J know I am not dead. Sometimes in the past couple of months I have wished I was but I am getting through it. Quickly, Divorce suppose to happen sometime in June, currently separated, not my choice, not my wishes, I have been living on my own now for about four months, she's currently seeing this joker named Mike, and things are chaotic. I still help when ever I can see and talk to the kids almost everyday, and have been very much me. Nice guy, do anything for you extremely loyal, even when ya dump on me. J knows all about it. By the way dude fought the good fight and lost, I tried man I really did, but right now all I can say is she had a what if question, I chose to step aside so she could find out the answer, things seemed rosey for her for about a month and a half and now the house of cards are crumbling. I am kicking back focusing on healing and spending time with the kids, interact with her maybe once a week, tried to be just Joel man, not being bitter, not being anything but me. It has hurt, in more ways than one, ya know I lost pretty much my position at work, my band and family all in one week. But I ain't dead. Dad and Amanda wanted me to come back home to colorado but not an option right now. I still have this family to look after and do what I can for even if it apreciated necessarilly. Who knows a few years from now maybe it will. Any way dude you want to give me a call .